i'm feeling so angry. i feel like jumping down, feel like slashing my wrist, and paint my walls red. and thats so emo. HAHA. so not me. okay. but i do feel angry. family + money matters. and im not sure if the blog is private enough for me to share it. all i can say is that everytime i have money, its been taken away or so called 'lend'. now thats frustrating if its been happening for such a long time. and sometimes u wonder with the income that the family gets, where do all the money go? to the extent that they have to resort to borrowing and loaning? i'm so confused, yet, i believe that one day i will finally uncover the secrets if theres any.

for now, let swimming do all the de-stress work.